A Long awaited return with Tea Time Treats in hand

Oh my dear, have you been waiting here long?  Yes, yes you are in the right place for the tea party, although the Grand Tea Table is a bit dusty.  I see the Hatter hasn’t done his duties around here whilst I was away.  Pardon me while the Dormouse and I tidy up a bit.  It seems as though spring has finally sprung here in the Tulgey Wood, which means all the critters will be coming out of hibernation and causing a ruckus once more here in Wonderland.  There we go, all tidied up, please do have a seat while I put on a pot of tea or two for us to indulge in on this fine day.

I apologize for my absence; things here in the “Real World” have been keeping me from Wonderland.  I know you came here for some tea and treats, so I will keep this update short.  Prince Richard and I had a lovely time down in Disney World, although most days it was unseasonably hot.  We stuffed our bellies with many magical meals and delectable desserts.  While we were country hopping in Epcot’s World Showcase, we had the extreme honor of meeting Miss Alice herself in front of the most charming of tea shops!  I was nearly speechless!  We spoke of many things, and she even shared some stories with me about trying to teach the Tweedles how to read.  Needless to say, they weren’t very good at learning new things.  Oh I wish I could express how happy I was to speak with her!  I told her about our Great Teas here in the Tulgey Wood and she said they sounded like great fun (Which I assured her they were)!  She hopes to come by sometime and share some stories with us!

Although I’ve been absent for quite some time, the March Hare has kept me up to date with some of his latest creations.  Apparently he has been extremely busy with all the feasts and gatherings for all the Queens of the land, most recently Easter.  He told me that at times, he had 2-3 grand gatherings in one weekend!  Gee, it sounds like he was mirroring my life through the looking glass!  As he was sharing all his stories with me, he made a suggestion that I definitely want to try out.  You see, the March Hare enjoys cooking, sometimes even more than he likes a spot of tea (hard to believe I know!), but he just doesn’t have time to actually share the recipes for his creations with all the guests in Wonderland.  Since he really wants everyone to be able to taste his great culinary creations both in and out of Wonderland, he asked me to share recipes with all of you!  During our Tea Time Treats segment, I will share the recipes our mad friend March uses including measurements, pictures, and hopefully step by step directions (if the camera and time allows).  Hopefully you all will enjoy collecting these special recipes only found here in Wonderland!

Whew, with all that being said, shall we dig into today’s Tea Time Treats?  Today the March Hare has shared with us one of his specialties frequently requested by the Red Queen:  Sinfully Sweet Swine.  This perfect dish is sweet with just a little hint of spice, and it is perfect on a soft baked bulky roll or on a Wonderland Wrap.  In fact, you could even just eat it by itself and still be completely satisfied.  One of the best things about this dish is that it is quite simple with a small list of ingredients, and since it cooks for many hours, you have more time to make a dessert such as the March Hare’s Tye Dye Cake (a frequently asked for treat by the White Queen).  Grab yourself a sandwich and fill up your teacup, and don’t be afraid to wake the Hatter up for some cream and sugar.  I hope you enjoy this recipe.  Have a magical day and remember, Wonderland is but a Daydream away!

Sinfully Sweet Swine (or Sweet Pork for all those unfamiliar with Wonderland)

Marinade Ingredients:

1 roast of pork fit for a Queen (2-2.5lbs of a chefs roast works well)

1 container of dark bubble brew (1 12oz can of original Coca-Cola)

 Half the amount of sweetened sugar that fits in 1 teacup (1/2 a cup of brown sugar)

Poke holes in both sides of pork roast.  Place pork in a gallon sized freezer bag (a 9x9 glass pan with a lid works well also) and pack sugar on top of pork.  Pour cola over sugar crusted pork.  Ideally you want enough cola to almost cover pork.  Seal container and place in refrigerator overnight (12 hours is ideal to perfectly tenderize the meat, just make sure the Jabberwock doesn’t get to it).   The next day, remove pork from container and discard marinade.  Place pork roast in slow cooker and add the following ingredients:

4-5 peeled odorous bulbs (garlic cloves)

Powder made from odorous bulbs (Garlic Powder, on top of pork)

1 container of dark bubble brew

Enough water to make Dormouse a pot of tea (about ¼ of a cup)

Allow this beautiful blend of flavors to cook on low for the same amount of time it takes to get from the White Queen’s Palace to the Red Queen’s Palace (About 8-9 hours depending on how fast your hat is flying).  When the meat is ready, turn off slow cooker, remove meat, and drain liquid.  Hand the roast to either Cheshire Cat or the Bandersnatch (whomever is available at the time) and they will use their claws to shred the meat for you.  If neither is available, which means you are obviously cooking outside of Wonderland, using two forks to pull the meat apart will work in a pinch.  Return the meat to the slow cooker and prepare the sauce which consists of:

1 teacup of sweetened sugar (1 cup of brown sugar)

1-1.5 containers dark bubble brew

Not too many spicy peppers (4oz chopped green chiles)

A tea cup and then some of spicy elixir (10oz mild enchilada sauce)

Pour the sauce over the pork, stir, and heat through.  The March Hare suggests serving on fresh baked bulky rolls, on Wonderland Wraps with some broccoli slaw, or by itself.  If you like more spice than sweet, or vice versa, play around with the amounts of sugar or using medium or hot enchilada sauce.